One thought that I had during the Bedeken and especially at the Chuppah was "how did we get here?" The chosson was just 7 when I moved here. He was a little boy and now he is getting married? I watched the mother walk down the aisle with her "baby" crying as she held on to him. I'm sure it was tears of joy but still...you raise your children for this day. The day when you have hopefully instilled in them the values they will take on to the next point of their lives. This is the bracha that we all say at the bris...Torah,Chuppah, Massim Tovim. What was going through my friends mind as she took her son to the chuppah? Was she remembering all the nights she was up with him, was she remembering the first time he walked, his first day of nursery school, kindergarten.....
So this brings me back to my original post when I wondered "why am always always rushing my life"??? My friend SH wrote recently a blog about "just getting through it" how we are so focused on getting through each stage that when are we actually "enjoying" that stage??
I'm not up to weddings yet...IY"H in the right time but I was so busy at this wedding peeking over at the men's side...(shh, do not tell the shadchanim this piece of info). Why you ask...and it is true the men have the better schtick but that wasn't the real reason. The real reason was b/c BD was there with me. He flew in for the wedding from Yeshiva. I kept looking over at the men's side b/c I wanted to see him. I wanted to see what my baby was doing. I wanted to observe him as an outsider does. He is my first...as we say in our family "he is the one we do all of our practicing on". I just wanted to schep the nachas and watch him. Okay as anyone who has gone to weddings ...what do you see at the Men's side???? BLACK...and more black..just moving around. And when there is really good schtick unless you climb on a chair...sorry ladies you ain't seeing much else. So okay THAT plan was not going to work.
I did get to see occasional glimpses of him and I was proud when people who have not seen him in a while remarked how good he looked ba"h. I was also fortunate to meet a family who also traveled from St. Louis and was able to schep nachas when they told me how nice of a boy he is and how much they enjoy watching him grow since he entered 9th grade. ( I did tell the wife I was jealous that she sees him more then I do but as a mother who also sent her boys away she understood what I was really saying).
So this blog is supposed to be...I don't always keep to it but it is SUPPOSED to be "finding Bitachon in everyday life". So what life lesson
IY"H we will all walk our children down to the Chuppah in the right time.
Y&C E....I wish you a marriage filled with bracha and mazel and may you have nachas in your future.
Amen! Beautiful! I've been thinking a lot about the post that SH wrote often, too. Since I read it, I've been better about taking the time to read extra stories, hearing each child out, and in general, just slooowing down. What are we rushing off to anyway? Dishes? They aren't going anywhere! An extra hour of sleep? Important, but sometimes things have to give so we can just be here. In the moment.
ReplyDeleteit also reminds me what we learned in Battle Plans...we try to make time for Chessed projects but really the BIGGEST chessed we can do is BE THERE FOR OUR KIDS. Dishes,meetings will all wait...our kids shouldn't. It is an ongoing battle...
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